i'm just pretending :')

i'm pretend to be strong
because i dont know how to cry anymore

i'm pretend to give a big smile to everyone
because i dont know how much the pain inside

i'm pretend to hang up with all friends
because i dont know how to be alone anymore

i'm pretend to get busy on my life
because i dont know how to get bored anymore

i'm pretend to watch the movie
because i dont know how to stop keeping the tickets

i'm pretend to move on
because i dont know how to forget

i'm pretend to laugh when get a message
because i dont know how to get mad on you

i'm pretend to play with the phone
because i dont know how to put it aside

i'm pretend to say to my bff "yeah i'm move on"..
because i dont know how to walk away..

what i know..just..

i'm pretend..and continue to pretend..until?

how long i can keep this pretending inside me..
how long i can wait just like you said..
how long i can stand alone without you anymore..
how long..how long...

i just give my tears and my heart to GOD..because i know GOD always be there for me..
but inside me..its killing me every second when i remember you..

i dont know how to move on
can i just walk away and put the feeling aside??

or should i wait
until this feeling gone?
or until i found someone that can give my smile back?
or until i found someone that can wipe out my tears?
or until i found someone that always be there and willing to love me as who i am?

*for good of sake...i just pretending to look happy..
even i keep remembering you..
maybe one fine day..
a real man will come and fight for me
fight to get my heart..
and when the time comes
i will move on
i will put the love aside
i will close the old story
i will learn to accept
i will learn to be with someone that care for me..